Post by jagi on Aug 15, 2009 3:44:21 GMT -5
Mood: Crunchy
Listening To: Dude shout racial slurs over X-Box Live in the next room
Thought of the Day: "Bisexuals should date fat guys or hermaphrodites. That way, whether they want dick or boobs, they're still covered with two nice warm holes to play with."
A lot of people have been asking me, "What makes you qualified to compete in True Glory Wrestling?" And by a lot of people, I mean TGW Human Resources. And by TGW Human Resources, I mean that bitch-ass Phil Larken from the Seattle distance office. And by bitch-ass I mean holy shit, there's a Seattle distance office? Well, don't get it too messed up. Apparently it's just some road agent who works out of a rented former restaurant in Yakima. I think it used to be a Mike's Jersey Subs or something from the way that it reeks of meat and unfulfilled dreams in there.
So Phil wanted me to justify why TGW should hire me. I told him to kiss my ass. He didn't want to, of course, but I explained that my ass has magical powers. It's like the Blarney Stone. Honest.
Seriously, I said, don't give me that crap. Wrestlers are a dime a dozen, good or bad, and yeah, I'm new, but that's a chance you'll have to take. You got start-up money and you'd be stupid not to invest some of those funds into building a home-grown name. Borrowing wrestlers from other federations past and present is nice, but you need at least one wrestler on the roster who isn't going to be spending all their time hyping what they did in some other place that doesn't do shit to increase buyrates for the current organization.
Side-Note: Really, guys, we've all read your resumes. If you thought that people need a refresher about your time in WWABCDEFG then you could always start up a wikipedia page or maybe start up a contest and invite 10 lucky fans on a trip in the TARDIS back to where it all began. Jeysus.
So it's like this. I could bore you with my awards for perfect attendance in middle school or give you an update on my thesis for my MBA, but you don't care about that. Likewise, I don't really care what everybody else did. Maybe their reminiscing is more wrestling relevant but I figure a little balance is in order. If all the veterans gets to act like nothing that happened after them matters, then fuck it, far as I'm concerned the history of the world starts with ME.
But more to the point, I'm quite business savvy and the fact of the matter is this: anybody, ANYBODY that gets hired is a risk for injury or flaking out on a verbal contract or just getting bored and going away. I might be perceived as a higher risk but that also means that I don't have a negative rep preceding me. Furthermore, truth be told, hiring me is a win-win from management's perspective. If I end up being god's gift to wrestling, then TGW gets to take credit for discovering me. If I end up sucking... well every organization needs enhancement talent.
Why should TGW hire me? Why did TGW hire me? It's moot. Nobody deserves this and nobody's earned it more than anybody else. This is a new world, kiddies; time to make the magic happen. Now pucker up.
Listening To: Dude shout racial slurs over X-Box Live in the next room
Thought of the Day: "Bisexuals should date fat guys or hermaphrodites. That way, whether they want dick or boobs, they're still covered with two nice warm holes to play with."
A lot of people have been asking me, "What makes you qualified to compete in True Glory Wrestling?" And by a lot of people, I mean TGW Human Resources. And by TGW Human Resources, I mean that bitch-ass Phil Larken from the Seattle distance office. And by bitch-ass I mean holy shit, there's a Seattle distance office? Well, don't get it too messed up. Apparently it's just some road agent who works out of a rented former restaurant in Yakima. I think it used to be a Mike's Jersey Subs or something from the way that it reeks of meat and unfulfilled dreams in there.
So Phil wanted me to justify why TGW should hire me. I told him to kiss my ass. He didn't want to, of course, but I explained that my ass has magical powers. It's like the Blarney Stone. Honest.
Seriously, I said, don't give me that crap. Wrestlers are a dime a dozen, good or bad, and yeah, I'm new, but that's a chance you'll have to take. You got start-up money and you'd be stupid not to invest some of those funds into building a home-grown name. Borrowing wrestlers from other federations past and present is nice, but you need at least one wrestler on the roster who isn't going to be spending all their time hyping what they did in some other place that doesn't do shit to increase buyrates for the current organization.
Side-Note: Really, guys, we've all read your resumes. If you thought that people need a refresher about your time in WWABCDEFG then you could always start up a wikipedia page or maybe start up a contest and invite 10 lucky fans on a trip in the TARDIS back to where it all began. Jeysus.
So it's like this. I could bore you with my awards for perfect attendance in middle school or give you an update on my thesis for my MBA, but you don't care about that. Likewise, I don't really care what everybody else did. Maybe their reminiscing is more wrestling relevant but I figure a little balance is in order. If all the veterans gets to act like nothing that happened after them matters, then fuck it, far as I'm concerned the history of the world starts with ME.
But more to the point, I'm quite business savvy and the fact of the matter is this: anybody, ANYBODY that gets hired is a risk for injury or flaking out on a verbal contract or just getting bored and going away. I might be perceived as a higher risk but that also means that I don't have a negative rep preceding me. Furthermore, truth be told, hiring me is a win-win from management's perspective. If I end up being god's gift to wrestling, then TGW gets to take credit for discovering me. If I end up sucking... well every organization needs enhancement talent.
Why should TGW hire me? Why did TGW hire me? It's moot. Nobody deserves this and nobody's earned it more than anybody else. This is a new world, kiddies; time to make the magic happen. Now pucker up.