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Post by Wade Mason on Sept 15, 2009 1:42:12 GMT -5
[Single Match] Ja-Gi Kyung Moon Vs. Camisado
Limit: Three Each Maximum First Deadline: Saturday September 19th at 11:59pm EST Final Deadline: Sunday September 20th at 11:59pm EST
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Post by jagi on Sept 17, 2009 1:39:59 GMT -5
This time, no jovial young upstart here. Ja Gi Kyung Moon doesn't even walk onto the screen, he's already there when things start up. He's sitting on a black padded folding chair, wearing blue jeans and a matching denim jacket. The lighting seems not to matter, the air-conditioning's set so low that they overcompensate for the stage lights. This is also a special case, because there's a digital projector behind JAGI, though there's nothing going right now. However, there soon will be. With the remote in hand, the All-American Korean-American begins... and he doesn't look pleased.
*START*
JAGI: Okay... first, because nobody pays attention, a little history lesson. You see, when we all first started this shindig, Wade Mason decided that he'd create this whole "Yours Or Mine" folder deal as a way to book a pay-per-view without actually having to pay attention to anybody. Why do I say that? Well, according to his own words, the folders, and their alleged randomness, would give everybody the same opportunity for a title shot. Randomness meaning, from the beginning Wade booked SLIPS OF GODDAMN PAPER for his biggest matches at the pay-per-view and just waited until last week to see who would control those slips of paper. Exciting in theory, but a logistical nightmare if people die or get injured or just decide to take their ball and stay at home while they're in possessing of a folder. But whatever... Mason's supposed to be the mysterious wizard behind the curtain so nobody knows what to do except go with it. And at the end of the first show, we get this.
~Show 1~ Russell Franchise -- F Camisado -- F Hunter Sullivan -- F Lily Harris -- F Xaria Linette -- F
Folders: RF, C, HS, LH, XL
JAGI: We're all still trying to figure out what this whole deal is, of course, but nobody can look into their folders so they're just wrestling but have no idea what they do. Meanwhile, all Mason has to do is stop into the office for five minutes a week in order to throw darts at a wall full of pictures to book the next show. I think for a time, our main event for Show 2 was Chris Anderson versus that girl with cancer who shoots free T-shirts into the upper arena levels. Idiot. But after Hunter Sullivan decides that PWA is more his style and David Blazenwing overfuckingslept and missed his flight to give Franchise a free ride, Wade Mason laments the fact that he has to do actual work instead of just showing up to take credit for all the workers actually being the ones to make the show worth watching like he's Russell Fucking Simmons or some shit. Meanwhile, we see the transfer of three folders.
~Show 2~ JAGI (no folder) Jared Light (Linette) Alex Wilkie (Sullivan) Kaori Shikagami (Lily) Russell Franchise (no match)
Folders: RF, JL, AW, KS, C
JAGI: And so we get to show three, where really, only two actual folders were up for grabs. Remember that Wade Mason said that everybody would get the same opportunity at a folder, even though you can't actually have an opportunity to get a folder if you're not, you know, in a match for one in the first place. Really, anybody who actually wrestles without a folder being involved is wasting their time and ends up doing themselves more harm than benefit. Like Xaria, for instance. She injured herself in a match, but even if she'd won there would be no reward for it. She gets paid the same in a win or a loss so there's no actual impetus to win the match other than personal pride. But pride goes before the fall and sadly one woman had to suffer for it. Hope she gets better soon because the ratio of hot-ass women to boring, generic as hell males has started to trend in the wrong direction for my liking. Camisado, meanwhile, owes AJ Adams a huge favor for saving him having to actually lose his folder because "Can't wrestle tonight" doesn't mean getting stripped of a folder. I digress, here's how it turned out.
~Show 3~ XL/AA (no contest, no folder anyway) Blazenwing (no folder) Steve Canyon (no folder) Russell Franchise (own folder) Alex Wilkie (own folder)
Folders: RF, AW, KS, C, JL
JAGI:So, after the first two shows, in which the folders actually seemed to somewhat matter, we had Animosity 3, where the folders were nearly an afterthought. Only two matches for folders meant that three wrestlers were "safe" going through that week. So in effect, the whole show was a diversion. But then we get to the final show before No Limits, where we have AJ Adams in a folder match! I tell you this much, Steve Canyon is probably pissed off that he didn't get a folder match on his debut match like Adams and Cody Only. He only had *one* chance at a folder before the pay-per-view, even though he signed the papers with TGW in time to get at least two folder matches like everybody else. Meanwhile, what do we find but that both new hires were put into matches for the World Title folders. Why they got the opportunity instead of myself or somebody who'd been here for longer than 10 minutes, we'll get to that in a second. All the folders were had, Kaori Shikagami AGAIN got a pass on defending her folder (totally random, right?) and now at the end of it all we get this.
~Show 4~ JAGI (Wild Card) Russell Franchise (Volitionary) AJ Donovan (World Title) Jared Light (Golden Ticket) Cody Only (World Title)
Folders: J, CO, JL, RF, AD, KS
JAGI: And I get a folder that says that I have to win my next three consecutive matches to get a title shot. Not lose a match and then win three, not win two, lose one, and then win another one. Three straight matches. And Wade Mason says that he thinks that I have more to show people and so he made that stipulation. Because he'd have made that same point about America Azuela, right? Or David Cage; if he'd been able to show and win, well, even though he won his first match, we'd have to doubt his ability and say, "You have to show me three more consecutive wins or you get nothing."
At this point, JAGI hits the power button, turning off the projector. With a hand behind his back, the man stands up while tossing his chair to his left, it landing off-camera. What was a look of dissatisfaction before is now one of real anger.
JAGI: Listen the fuck up, you dumb son of a bitch! I didn't even give much of a damn about your precious, lazy as hell "folder" idea but then you turn this into some kind of "I want to help JAGI fulfill his potential" bullshit? Be REAL clear about this, asshole -- you never "made" me and you never will. You aren't some savior of the wrestling industry, you're just another beat up midcard wannabe who thinks the business still needs you when it never did. And you're gonna tell me what I need to do? I ignored you before but if you wanna get into the crosshairs, let's play.
RANDOM? You wanna talk about random? YOU controlled the booking! You decided who you wanted to promote. You never put most of us into a position to win a world title folder, that's not random, that's at best calculated fixing of the odds and at worst you're just some dumbshit who thinks he's the best thing to happen to the sport since sliced bread. Nice way to reward the guys who stayed with you all this time, by putting two freshly-signed wrestlers into World Title folder bookings when others who've been here from Week 1 or 2 get punished for daring to join before them. Hell, I should've quit and resigned 8 days ago, then I'd have a World Title shot right now. Or would I? Because, wait, you CAME TO THE ARENA with a guy you wanted to sign like he's the second coming of fucking Christ, so you allow him to STEAL a folder and he opens it, which, by your very own rules a few weeks ago nobody who won a folder could open it until they were given permission to do so. But lo and behold, AJ Donovan shows up and steals a folder, opens it, signs his name on it, and suddenly you're powerless to do anything about it?
BULLSHIT. You wanted him to have a World Title shot. You were afraid that if you just said, "Okay, here's a title shot" that your roster would mutiny... so instead your bright idea is to change the rules for Donovan (because he'd have had to signed a contract with the company in time for the lawyers to send it through and get him registered with the Social Security Administration as an independent contractor here like the rest of us)? That makes it okay? Because you're in charge, you can't be questioned, right? You giveth and you can taketh away. And you can make AJ Adams the #1 contender to the belt afterward because you like Donovan more but fuck if your roster is big enough, your archive of shows deep enough, your esteem or fanbase great enough that you can actually afford to lose anybody yet. You're lucky you didn't leave that office missing teeth and a few pints of blood. I know that if you EVER encourage that kind of career opportunity theft at my expense, the English language doesn't contain enough words to express the lengths to which I would go to rob you of everything you ever cared about.
But that's all just general complaints about what an incompetent boss you are. As it concerns me? FUCK YOUR FOLDER. The name of the game is make me happy, but you attach a ridiculous stipulation under the guise of trying to do me a favor? Maybe if you'd actually pay attention to or get to know your roster after you sign them (you know, do the slightest bit of due diligence in running a wrestling federation) you'd know that's the stupidest thing you ever could've done. You wanna stick to the numbers side of things? That's fine; but don't you dare pretend to be a competent booker.
So here's the drill. This folder? I'm not gonna destroy it. Oh no... thanks to your "brilliance" in making these things blank, and with the new AJ Donovan Rule that makes these things transferrable, I'm not gonna even try to live up to the thing or use it. No, you're hearing it here first: THE WILD CARD FOLDER IS AVAILABLE TO THE HIGHEST BIDDER. Now, don't take this as me being stupid enough to just walk around for it to be stolen. Oh, no... I've got it stored in a district branch of Wachovia in a safe-deposit box. The "Make Me Happy" game has now shifted from Wade's idiocy to the fellow wrestlers of one man's sad attempt to remain ever-so-slightly visible in a business that stopped looking at or for him a long time ago. The word of the day for all you troglodites -- athazagoraphobia. Get thee to Google, and get yourself some help, old man.
For the rest of you, here's how it's gonna work. Make me a deal. You can offer me money, some sort of material possession, services, do as you please there. But the folder will NOT be up for contention in any matches so challenging me won't work, you can't threaten me to get it because it's locked up tight in a bank and if I'm injured I can't exactly go get it for you, and Wade Mason himself could attempt to thwart me but because the things are transferrable and have no expiration or inactivity clause in the writing (yep, read the whole thing over with a lawyer... next time don't be so hasty to draft up a contract, dumass), he'd have to again change the rules just to suit his pleasure... but he's already done that so I don't exactly put it against him. This offer is especially useful for all those overconfident newbies that might join, not realizing what a dick the boss is, or for the guys who are still around and have nothing to show for their efforts, or even somebody who already has a folder but they want another one to cover their bases.
I don't care what you do with the folder -- cash it in, use it as a coaster, wipe your ass with it. Not my concern. But this is TRUE opportunity. Everybody has the same chance to make me an offer and I'll consider everything carefully according to what benefits me the most, and everybody knows that upfront. If I don't see anything I like, the thing will just sit there in the deposit box for as long as I see fit, or until this place dies (and let's not beat around the bush -- this place will die; feds die, it's what they do, it's the how we're all working here in the first place). The haste is on the part of the bidder; I wasn't expecting to have to do this a week ago so I'm fine if I don't get anything out of it.
Meanwhile, Mason, you need to pay attention because while you think you may have lit a fire under my ass, all you did was wake a sleeping dragon who now wants to destroy everything you think you've built for yourself. First things first -- your moronic stipulation. That still holds, but is independent from the Wild Card contract. See, even if that stip is written into the contract, the fact is that you wanna make this about me. So fine, it's about me. I win any three consecutive matches in a row, I get a title shot and you have fuck-all to say about that. The only words you need to use to acknowledge that are, "Yes, sir." Second, your show? Well, you already forfeit any possible respect you might've had by your own actions. To a point I was willing not to rock the boat, but you had to go and ruin that so now I'm not even demanding a fair title shot -- I'll just exert my own control over the federation and change the rules as I see fit. Because everything's fluid, right? All for the sake of entertainment.
Finally... Camisado? Fuck him. That simple. No death threats, no "hate to laugh with him" commentary, no legal announcements. I'm not looking past him, I'm steamrolling the shit out of him. And I'd say it's nothing personal, but honestly? Everything's personal now. Wade Mason made it personal. Thank him for everything that happens from this point forward. Because anybody who really knows me knows that the LAST thing that somebody would want is for me to actually be motivated to accomplish something. Because, after all, I'm not a good guy. I'm an asshole in my nicest of moments and when I really hate somebody? Well, their quality of life tends to decrease exponentially. TGW as you knew it is dead.
Thanks for the memories....
*END*
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